5 Ways to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence (EI) refers to the ability to recognize, understand, manage, and influence one’s own emotions and the emotions of others. EI involves skills like self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, as well as social skills. These skills promote effective communication, relationship-building, and emotional resilience in personal and professional settings. But they are not in everyone’s repertoire. The good news is that they can be learned.

Here are 3 effective ways to boost your EI.

First, practice emotion regulation. Learn skills to manage your emotions, especially in high-stress situations. Techniques from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), such as watching your daily emotions increases mindful awareness of them and better equips you to regulate them. Keep an emotion regulation journal and note how you felt in different situations and ask yourself why. Pausing before responding and reframing the negative thoughts that drive your emotions can decrease reactivity.

Second, practice active listening. Focus fully on what others are saying without planning your response while they speak. Pay attention to their tone, body language, and emotions. Reflect back what you hear to confirm understanding, like, “It sounds like you’re feeling frustrated because of this situation.” This builds empathy and strengthens interpersonal connections.

Third, cultivate empathy through perspective-taking. Actively imagine yourself in someone else’s position to understand their feelings and viewpoints. When in conflict, ask open-ended questions like, “Can you share how this makes you feel?” This practice enhances your ability to relate to others and respond compassionately.

Try these practices and you just may find your EI is increasing.

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