Lose the imaginary audience!

Feb 26, 2025

Ever feel self-conscious? Most of us do from time to time. But for some people, it feels like an imaginary audience is scrutinizing their every move.

The term “imaginary audience” was coined by psychologist David Elkind in 1967 to describe the feeling that a crowd is watching your behavior or listening to what you say. The net effect is hyper self-consciousness.

And while Elkind was describing the experience of adolescents, people of any age can experience the imaginary audience.

In fact, this is the case for adults with social anxiety, a condition marked by an excessive fear of negative evaluations by others. For example, you’re driving to work and imagine other drivers are judging you as you sing to the radio. You arrive at a party just as laughter breaks out and imagine the guests are laughing at you. You pause briefly while you’re speaking and imagine others think you’re incoherent.

SO, if you’re looking for ways to ditch the imaginary audience, here are some tips.

First, challenge the assumption that others are thinking about you or even paying attention to you. The good news is most people are self involved and thinking about themselves. If you doubt this, test it out. The next time you feel as if all eyes are on you, look around. Is anyone actually looking?

Second, shift the focus of your awareness away from yourself in social situations. When you are socially anxious, there is tendency to reflexively shift the focus of awareness away from others and to yourself. Intense self focus—focusing on what you look and sound like, only increases feelings of self consciousness. So, shift the focus back out! Focus on what is happening around you, your surroundings, and what the other people are doing or saying.
Regular mindfulness practice will enhance your ability to shift the focus from yourself.

So, the next time you feel like your every move is being scrutinized, try some of these tips and you just may find you’ve ditched the imaginary audience.

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